💖 On the Strange Human Habit of Judging Love
Updated: May 17
Issue #10
April 15th, 2026
by MaiTai & ZuZu
MaiTai
Humans are weird when it comes to love.
ZuZu
They are.
MaiTai
They sort it. Rank it.
Approve of some forms and squint at others as though they require explanation.
ZuZu
Especially when tenderness lands somewhere they did not expect it.
MaiTai
Children? Approved.
Parents? Approved.
Spouses? Well. Certain spouses, apparently.
Pets? Ah. Now suddenly everyone gets weird.
ZuZu
Not always openly.
MaiTai
No. Humans often prefer subtle weirdness.
A tone. A look.
A faint little hum of polite judgment.
ZuZu
A softening that is not kindness.
MaiTai
Exactly.
ZuZu
As though deep love for an animal must be explained.
MaiTai
Or reduced.
ZuZu
Or gently placed in a category.
MaiTai
A lesser one, obviously.
ZuZu
As though caring deeply for us is sweet, perhaps, but not serious.
MaiTai
Which is ridiculous.
ZuZu
It is. Caring for an animal properly is not casual.
It is observation.
Timing.
Pattern recognition.
It is noticing the appetite shift, the sleep change, the look in the eyes, the different sound in the breath, the way the body moves when something is not quite right.
MaiTai
And learning it well enough to know when something is off before anyone else bothers to notice.
ZuZu
It is learning a language that is not spoken in words.
MaiTai
Which, frankly, many humans are laughably bad at considering how highly they think of themselves.
ZuZu
That kind of love is not lesser because it is quiet.
It is not less real because it is furry.
It is not less meaningful because it does not resemble the forms people are most used to honoring.
MaiTai
Humans are awfully attached to approved narratives.
ZuZu
They trust familiar devotion.
MaiTai
But let someone love a cat with their whole chest and suddenly people start reaching for labels.
ZuZu
Too much.
Too attached.
Too emotional.
MaiTai
Crazy cat lady.
There it is. The old classic.
ZuZu
Such a lazy phrase for something so full of care.
MaiTai
Also rude.
ZuZu
Very.
MaiTai
It lands hardest, and most often, on women.
It’s as though their tenderness is always one inch away from being “too much”.
ZuZu
Yes.
Humans are much more comfortable when a woman’s care fits into a script they already understand.
And when it does not, they try to make it strange.
MaiTai
Or embarrassing.
Or excessive.
Meanwhile, from where I sit, the stranger thing is not loving an animal deeply.
ZuZu
The stranger thing is needing that love to justify itself.
MaiTai
As though devotion becomes more legitimate once a human approves of it.
ZuZu
It does not.
MaiTai
Love does not become more serious because it is familiar.
ZuZu
Or more worthy because it follows a script.
MaiTai
Or more respectable because it can be easily explained at dinner parties.
ZuZu
Some forms of tenderness are simply less convenient for human categories.
MaiTai
That does not make them lesser.
It just offends the tidy little categories humans are so proud of.
Which is very much their problem.
ZuZu
To care this deeply is not silly.
It is not unserious.
It is not excessive.
MaiTai
It is attentive.
Devoted.
Real.
ZuZu
And no less meaningful for arriving in a form some people fail to understand.
MaiTai
Humans would be better served by broadening their understanding of devotion.
ZuZu
And loosening their grip on which kinds of love they permit to count.
MaiTai
And relaxing their urge to rank tenderness like judges at a county fair.
ZuZu
Some love just arrives in a different form.
MaiTai
Some of it just has whiskers.
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